I Always Feel Like... Somebody's Watching Me!

Friday, August 12, 2011

Here we go again...

 The proof is on the store shelves all around town... summer is coming to an end and we must prepare for the start of the school year. (Although in reality we still have a few more weeks of lazy days and humid nights.) I am new to this game of preparation and back-to-school shopping. We are thinking of bus schedules, supply lists, backpacks, potty training (gulp: one month to get Jackson ready!), dance classes and saving boxtops. Having children enter the world is overwhelming!

  Ayla will be attending Kindergarten five days a week, for a full school day. Her cute little butt is going to be riding the bus to and from school, as well as eating lunch with the big kids! My heart aches with the cuteness of the idea. Jackson will be starting preschool at the Y, three days a week for a morning session. He will get to swim, play in the gym and climb in the adventure room. He will enjoy story time, crafts and "my friends" (that's what he is most excited about.) My entire body aches with the cuteness of it all.

 Elliot will remain my third appendage and we will most likely spend our days cruising in the minivan. So begins the challenge of enrolling my kids in enough activities to keep them stimulated and not too many to turn their childhoods into a scheduling nightmare.

Oh, and one more thing. As we will probably spend the month of September overwhelmed, tired and adjusting into schedules after a summer of relaxed living: Gregory returns to Oklahoma for more training.

I hate Oklahoma.

I know he hates it more that he will miss their first days of school. But I know how challenging it was before to survive his absence (emotionally and logistically); and that was in Pittsburgh, surrounded by a network of family and friends. Now I am in the virtual abyss of Buffalo (yes, I'm being dramatic), with only a few neighbors and acquaintances to turn to in an emergency. I am sensing that the loneliness is going to be multiplied by ten, even though Gregory will only be gone for 5 weeks.

My mother is going to come to visit and help, so I am thankful for that. Perhaps my pathetic cry for help will inspire more visitors? :)

I am going to try and stay positive in the weeks leading up to Gregory's departure. The timing is really the best we could have hoped for. Other than missing the start of school and my birthday in October, he won't miss out on any holidays. I will keep my mind in the present and follow Eckhart Tolle's advice: "The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but your thoughts about it."

 Yes, it will be stressful on my own with two kids adjusting to school and possibly a baby Elliot walking around the house: but I will save my worry until the time is actually here. For now, I will continue to search for five packs of glue sticks and primary colored markers in our preparations for the fall!


  1. You know I'll be there - for at least a couple of days!!

  2. Glad to hear that The Pegster will be there to help out. I'm sure she'll love being with you!