Two Thumbs Up for Children's Movies

I remember reading a list about "must-have" children's movies to invest in when I was pregnant with Ayla. I had, ummm, all of them. And I didn't consider owning these movies just in case I was babysitting. I loved them truly for my own viewing pleasure. Now it is just an added bonus that Ayla & Jackson sing along to my favorite movies of all time.

All of the critic's choices are different now, with the addition of more Disney films (and Pixar). I can't remember exactly what was on that list several years ago, but I'm certainly willing to add new titles to my children's movie library.

Here is my personal Top 10:

1. The Dark Crystal - there is absolutely nothing like it, not even Labyrinth. I appreciated the fantastical storyline when I was four years old, and now that I own it on DVD (instead of the recorded from tv, scratchy VHS tape) I marvel at all of the details.

2. Annie - I watched it for 48 hours straight once. Again, this movie is just getting better with time. Ms. Hannigan is drunk almost the entire movie, which completely went over my head as a kid. ("Why is she stirring a clear liquid called gin in the bathtub?") I literally forced this movie upon Ayla. It is pure joy to hear her sing along to "Tomorrow".

3. Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory - Another VHS favorite, it instilled my love for Gene Wilder. My friend Jenn always did a perfect imitation of Veruca Salt's bratty song. We have an angry debate in our house every once in awhile about the "scary" factor of the Oompa Loompas. Strangely enough, tiny orange men don't scare me at all.

4. The Muppets Take Manhattan - It's hard to choose a favorite in the Muppet Category, but this one has some of the funniest human characters. When Joan Rivers is throwing powder on her face with Miss Piggy, I can't contain myself. It was while watching this movie that I discovered my life's dream of meeting a Muppet. (And I would totally act as if they were real - wait, they ARE real.)

5. The Secret of Nimh - Old-school animation, but I loved the song that played during the closing credits (the two crows flying in the air with their string - you know what I'm talking about!)

6. Star Wars - ALL of them. I watched these with my brother and used to pretend I was Princess Leia climbing up the basement stairs. And Luke Skywalker was hot.

7. The Lion King - I may have been in junior high at the time, but I was obsessed with this movie. I saw it maybe five times in the theater, bought the trading cards AND action figures at Burger King, and even had the commemorative plates. It was the first time that a Disney movie showed a dead parent, so unfortunately, some critics say this movie is traumatizing for kids.

8. Wall-E - this movie is profound. There is no leftist, political agenda behind this movie. We do consume and throw away so much garbage that we are ruining the planet. (Regardless of what you think about global warming, you have to admit we buy too much plastic shit). We do rely on robots to take care of us. Someday we will probably live in space. But it's still a hopeful outlook on the whole situation - I always cry when they return to earth. And Ayla is screaming, "They're coming back to earth! They're coming back to earth!!!"

9. The Muppet Christmas Carol - yes, I was in junior high with this movie too. But it's hilarious. And I can watch Christmas movies, year round.

10. Back to The Future - Michael J. Fox is synonymous with growing up in the 80's. TBS still shows the reruns every weekend for a reason.

Of course I've left out a lot, I still love The Little Mermaid, E.T., Sleeping Beauty, Charlie Brown and many others. But these are the movies I watched over and over during childhood (minus Wall-E, unless you consider parenthood my second chance at childhood) - and would gladly do the same today.

Feel free to comment or add to the list!

If anything can motivate me to clean the house...

... it would be watching the show Hoarders. It is on A&E, which is turning into the reality channel that showcases all of the nightmare scenarios. You can either watch Intervention (about drug or alcohol addiction) or Paranormal State (about ghost/demon hunting) or this new show about hoarding.

Hoarding: a bona fide mental disorder in which a person cannot, or isn't willing, to throw away any item - regardless of worth or condition. This isn't just like having cluttered closets or a few outdated items in the fridge. This is dead cats buried under garbage in your living room and buying a second home to house all of your crap. And crap it is - empty shampoo bottles, rotting pumpkins, newspapers from 1988, every razor you've ever owned.

This show is crazy! Well, the people are certainly crazy. And I say that in a nice way - but most of them did know that there was a mental problem. When you've lost custody of your children because you can't throw anything away and your house is infested with mice, you know you're not exactly right.

I was expecting to feel some sort of sympathy for these people - but for most of them, this is a symptom of an uncompromising or nasty personality. One man's wife fell down the stairs (tripping over piles of magazines) and broke her arm. You would think he might clean up after that? No. He was unwilling to get rid, or move, anything. An old lady was blaming her daughter for her unlivable conditions - a daughter that hadn't lived with her in decades! I am NOT a fan of mothers who blame their children for how miserable their lives have turned out.

But how does the hoarding get so out of control? Like the show Clean Sweep, most messes are contained to certain areas, like an unused room. It takes a catalyst to finally tackle those moving boxes that haven't been touched in 5 years. We don't clean out the junk drawer in the kitchen until it can't be closed anymore. I have old report cards and college textbooks in boxes. Is that minor hoarding or just a part of having a busy life?

After seeing all of the junk, mold and mouse feces on tv- I went on an OCD cleaning spree yesterday. I wiped down the refrigerator shelves and scrubbed the bath toys with bleach and a toothbrush. Several broken toys were thrown in the garbage. My next mission is the kitchen junk drawer and my craft supplies (those borderline on crazy, I admit).

My advice to anyone whose ever lacked the motivation to clean up? Watch Hoarders. You'll be knee-deep in Lysol before you know it.

They're called Personal Problems for a reason

What do you think is good policy for discussing personal problems at work? Do you wait a few weeks before you start revealing info about your family? Is it considered unprofessional to show pictures of your kids to people the first time you meet? Is it ever okay to share it with actual customers?

I might be more reserved than most with sharing personal problems - it's not that I want to be secretive, it's more that I'm worried that other people just might not care. It takes me awhile to really open up with people, especially co-workers, because I hate to mix drama with my work life. Okay, I hate to mix drama with anything. But especially in the place I make my money. But recently, I have met so many people that are totally willing to divulge their worst moments and scary family secrets with not only me, but my (and their) bosses.

I'm not talking about, "Gee, this economy is really tough and I'm just looking to make extra money to catch up on bills." That's honest - that's a good motivator to come to work. I'm talking about, "I need this job because I'm in the middle of a raging custody battle and my first kid is a result of roofies."


That's weird, right?

I once interviewed a woman at an upscale hotel to work in the room service department. She was friendly and cute and I was about to offer her the job. Then she blew it by asking if we checked her credit for employment. (We didn't). She then started ranting about, "My damn ex-husband. He maxed out all of my credit cards and that bastard ruined my credit!" This went on for 10 minutes. First of all, I didn't even mention a credit check. Second, keep it to yourself! Tell a friend, not your interviewer!

Is this just the restaurant industry? Or does anyone have to share an office with a person who talks loudly during personal calls so everyone can hear (and subsequently ask about) all of their problems? I've had co-workers cry to tables about their debts, as if that would increase the tip. I've known other co-workers to tell elaborate sexual stories about cheating on their spouses. It's so uncomfortable for everyone.

Yes, people do these things. And no one has a perfect life. I'm not saying we should work side-by-side and act like robots. I like to vent every now and then about how tired I am or a little family drama. I've cried at work over frustration (with the job itself and life in general) and cried with other people over their own. But could we just ease into it a little? Wait until you know that I'm actually interested. Wait until you can trust me with the story of a miscarriage or divorce. I'll listen and I'll probably be a better friend to you.

The sad thing is, where the hell does this kind of behavior start? Do they not have anyone else to share it with? Or are they just looking for attention and sympathy? I know several people who so strongly identify with their problems - it's ALL they can talk about. They'll tell anyone within 5 minutes the time line of the last decade. "First, this happened to me and then this tragedy struck.. and voila! That's why I'm a disaster!" But I think even those people know to keep their mouths shut when starting a new job. Do your problems make you look competent and motivated?

Am I being mean? I don't judge anyone for their actual problems. God knows I wouldn't like to be judged by my own family's mistakes. But it's the way they're dealing with it - blabbing about it all day long at work. Restaurant not does equal therapist office. If anyone out there agrees with me, what's the worst thing you've ever heard from a coworker?

Another season in the garden

It seems that last weekend was probably my final opportunity to finish up all of my planting projects for the year. As soon as spring allows, I start mentally preparing the vegetable, fruit and herb layout of our small garden. And as I get the okay from Gregory to tear up yet another portion of our yard, I am outside pulling out grass and salivating over new broccoli seedlings or tulip bulbs. I treat these plants like children - and while they are rooting, I stand defensively guarding them from my real children as they play. I love being outside in the dirt, digging and seeing the instant gratification when every morning, all my little green friends have grown - even if it's just one new leaf. So I'm sad as the cold finally sets in, that I'll have to wait until spring to plant, and then pick, fresh foods from my backyard.

We've lived in this house for three summers now. Our home improvements are well-timed with the seasons. In winter, we focus on painting or building shelves or moving our couches yet again to find the best arrangement. During the warmer parts of the year (and I can't say spring or summer because Pittsburgh is so ridiculously unpredictable), we abandon the inside and focus on the ongoing outdoor beautification project.

The first summer was my first experience with my own garden - I totally overcrowded the space, had vegetables nearly strangling each other for sunshine, but I felt so damn proud the first time I spotted a zucchini! I also transplanted some hostas and my favorite lily-of-the-valley from my mother's house.

We also planted a tree for Ayla - shortly after her first birthday. I was relieved in spring when it bloomed and we knew it had survived the winter!

A mystery garden helper, who could it be?

The second year I got a little bit smarter and sprouted seeds indoors before planting outside. However, I certainly over-planted again. No one needs more than one or two zucchini plants. I obsessed over painting the lower brick (see above picture for it's previous ugliness) wall a more appealing blue. I hovered over the garden 8 months pregnant- trying to get everything planted before Jackson was born. I did a pretty good job, especially since the little boy waited until the day before his due date to arrive. His frequent newborn naps were also helpful in giving me time to weed and harvest!

I would post pictures of the garden with Ayla - but she's butt-naked in all of them!

And this past year, I finally started to benefit from the perennial growth of rosemary, chives, parsley, tomatoes, strawberries, clematis, etc. We added a hydrangea in the front yard and many, many bulbs that we'll hopefully see next year. (Thanks to Gregory for tackling that project with both children running around). I learned to put birdwire over the strawberries - and we finally got to eat some of them. Every time I had found a berry last year, I would turn it over to find it half-eaten.


I planted new herbs in the garden (duh, plant them in the ground so they grow back instead of in pots every year!) - it took me three years to figure that one out. Erin hooked me up with her ridiculous supply of mint from her yard. And our friend Amy was always dropping off excess plants from her job - thank you!!! We now have a handsome fir ornamenting the corner of the herb garden and many, many pretty plants that I can't remember the names of!

In May, when it looks like I've properly spaced...

And in July, when it's so obvious that I have not...

And finally, I had grand plans to plant another tree in honor of Jackson's first birthday... but that never happened. Gregory set up trellises (is that the plural?) along our neighbor's ugly fence to hide their ugly house, and planted grapevines. We ate just a handful this year, but I've decided that we'll dedicate the vines to Jackson instead of a tree.

Until next year, it's inside gardening projects for me.

Potty Training and the F Bomb

Would you ever place those two completely random events together? Well, Ayla would! Both happened today. We've been trying to get Ayla to use the potty at night instead of diapers. She's been trained during the day for over a year, and it was time to conquer the other half of the day. The first couple of weeks were wet and stinky. We did A LOT of laundry. But she's been gradually improving and I'm hopeful to say we've done it! It has been four nights and counting that she hasn't wet at all.

We bought a light switch extension for the bathroom, which makes it easy for her to independently use the bathroom at night. I highly recommend them for all over the house!

But, with maturity, comes the use of the F bomb! I have no one to blame but myself - there comes a time during the day (usually at 9 pm when I'm trying to clean up) that frustration gets the best of me. I don't know why I haven't learned my lesson yet: the house will not be in order and my kids will definitely not stop finding new ways to get in trouble. Duh. But I can't help hoping and therefore do a little swearing myself when I get overwhelmed. And for everyone judging me for being a bad parent, well, keep it to yourself. There are bigger issues to worry about.

Ayla definitely used it in the right context. We were having a Mom says no, Ayla says yes battle. I wanted her to eat lunch after coming back from the grocery store. She wanted gum. I started to ignore her as I was putting things away in the refrigerator when she said,

"Mom, give me my f*&^ing gum."

I'm laughing as I write this, but I know it really isn't funny. At least outside of our house. It's rude and disrespectful (but so is kicking, and she does that too!). I got down on my knees, looked her in the face and said it wasn't a nice word. I'm guessing that I didn't solve the problem, but I had to address it, right? The harder part will be learning to censor myself better.

So every day is a little step forward: in good and bad ways. Ayla doesn't need diapers anymore AND she thoroughly understands language enough to get her point across about gum! It's the same with Jackson. The more he communicates, the more insight into his grouchy side. He'll greet us with a cute, "Hiiiiiiii!!!!" and wave, but also try to bite and scowl when he doesn't get his way. He's great at getting up and down the stairs; he's also great at slipping and bumping his head.

And this brings me back to balance. Not all new developments are going to be cute and cuddly. But this is a part of their developing selves. They grow and learn, often with mistakes, and that's the most frustrating part as a parent. You want to keep them safe from hurt, but you also don't want the kids who can't handle anything on their own.

If Ayla can stay dry all night - I guess I can accept that she's going to know about the F* bomb.

1990 Telephone vs. 2009 Telephone

Our bedtime story tonight was The Berenstain Bears and the Slumber Party. I remember reading this book, among the other forty BB classics we owned, when I was young. But reading Stan & Jan Berenstain in 2009 has revealed some really dated technology. This particular book was written in 1990, not too ancient, but on the first page, it reads:

"One of the most interesting things about a telephone is that when it rings you don't know who's calling until you answer it."

Oh yeah? Ayla and Jackson will, in fact, never know that feeling. Caller ID isn't the new, updated technology I experienced in junior high, it's always right there on the cellphone. The most interesting thing about answering the phone is not answering it when someone dreaded calls. (I have to say though, readers, that if I've ever missed your call, don't assume that I ignored it. I'm just really bad at being near my phone and answering it). We don't even have a land line in our house, so my kids are weirded out when they do hear a normal phone ring.

Also, there's a part in the story when Too-Tall Grizzly (Ayla calls him the "idiot man") crashes the party and he brings his "boom box". Awesome.

But my point: it's so crazy to read my childhood books again and realize how much has changed. I am really going to turn into one of those old ladies telling tall tales about when I was young, we didn't even know who was on the phone! Gasp!?!

I have to admit, though, that I'd be pretty freaked out if I didn't have caller ID anymore. I am not exactly a fan of talking on the phone at all. It makes me nervous. I say stupid things, stutter, get flustered - it's completely ridiculous.

And this is why: I had a traumatizing phone experience right around 1990. My father lived in Florida for approximately a year when I was in the elementary school. He would call on the phone every night, and sometimes pretend to be someone else. "Hi! Pizza Roma - I'm waiting outside with your pizza!" Stuff like that. I came to expect that every time a grown man called the house, it was my Dad joking around. And then one night, probably after reading my Berenstain Bear books, the plumber called. He wanted to talk to my mom and I kept insisting, "Dad! I know it's you!" He said, "No, I'm really not..." And the conversation continued in circles until he finally hung up on me. I was mortified and that feeling still sticks with me today.

So thank you, Caller ID, for appeasing my phone anxiety. Forget text messages, picture messages, blue-tooth, whatever- I'm still really pleased with the basics.

Oh yeah, Halloween

How could I be lagging on a Halloween post? In five minutes, it will be 10 days into November - so I better get to it before the next holiday is already past.

In Leetsdale & Sewickley, the night of Trick or Treating has always fallen on the Thursday before the actual 31st. We are NOT free to roam the streets on the weekend. I personally never cared - it means that the holiday can be spread out and celebrated over several events. Halloween parties are always on the weekend regardless, so why not get to trick-or-treating on a weeknight?

This is the first year that Ayla has conceptualized T&T and looked forward to it. Both she and Jackson's first Halloween's were an opportunity for us to parade them around as extra cute babies: as a pumpkin and M&M. Last year, Ayla didn't understand where all of this candy was supposed to go - so a lot of it was handed back to the people that gave it to her. But this year, she was involved in choosing her "character" and talking about candy for the week leading up to the event.

Ayla chose to be Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz after seeing a ready-made costume in Target. Since that option was $30, we splurged for the red sequin shoes and I picked up a blue/white checkered fabric from Jo-Ann Fabrics. White shirt, pigtails, red shoes, home-made checkered apron - that sounds pretty good. Oh wait, don't forget Jackson as the Cowardly Lion sidekick.

We had a great night walking up and down our street, while Jackson lounged in the stroller. We just wheeled him up to the baskets of candy and if he could reach, he got a piece. Ayla fully embraced saying, "Trick or Treat" and properly said thank you (after a parental reminder). My friend Merrin brought her son Donovan over to join us - so it was fun watching him waddle around in a Nemo costume.


My mother and Matthew helped hand out candy at our house so we could all walk together. Which brings me to discuss a few etiquette practice of Halloween. This is truly one of the most social holidays - everyone in any given neighborhood is subject to trick-or-treating. There are a few unspoken social rules. First of all, find out when trick or treat occurs and either be prepared with candy or turn off your porch lights and stay inside. My neighbor across the street - for two years in a row - has not been home for the Thursday evening festivities. (And she's lived here for a long time, so she has to know). However, she leaves her porch light on and we spend the night watching kids hike up the steep steps in front of her house, knock on the door and stand there bewildered. It's a waste of everyone's time. Secondly, I think it's fair to say that if you partake in the candy-taking, you should partake in the candy-giving. One other neighbor walked the entire neighborhood with her kids but didn't leave a single piece of candy at her house, not even when she was there. But she's blatantly unfriendly most of the time anyways....

I love Halloween and I love this time of year. Hopefully, my kids will feel the same way. You always end up with an awesome stash of candy, could it get any better?