My confidence has taken a huge hit recently. Hit is an understatement - annihilation might be more appropriate. I think anyone who has gone through the ups and downs of being pregnant and giving birth can understand how wacky you begin to feel about your image. I've always been a person who never gave much thought to my weight or shape - I felt healthy and fit into clothes I wanted, so no need for concern.
Having three babies in less than four years... well, it changes things. And I hate myself for saying it. A pregnant body is beautiful. It is serving a miracle in progress. What good could it serve to compare that life-giving shape to anyone not pregnant? But a mom is a woman too; who is ultimately vain and wants to look good. It's the months and years afterwards that you have to adjust that self-image. It's not easy work.
I'm not posting this to garner compliments. I'm not looking to the internet for validation. I've just had a serious day of introspection and honestly, have found that the root cause is that underneath it all, I think we're all insecure. When something in your life shifts and when something you thought to be solid evaporates - we are so quick to fall apart. I'm wondering how to prevent that. Is it possible?
Confidence is so fickle. We look to other people to build us up. We could be having the best day, accomplish a huge goal, have amazingly perfect hair for once, getting the job you always wanted, finally fit into the jeans you couldn't button up... but something as stupid as a overhearing a person say something bad about you... that intoxicating feeling of confidence is gone.
I could use a little bit more self-confidence and a little less other-confidence. You can't rely on it.