I Always Feel Like... Somebody's Watching Me!

Monday, September 21, 2009

The Sewickley Police Beat

Anyone who grew up in or near Sewickley is probably familiar with the "crime" section of the Sewickley Herald. It is always titled, "Sewickley police respond to a variety of calls"... and it never fails to entertain!

In a small community like ours, the gossip is rampant and even the printed newspaper gives in to our sick need to know all of the nasty details about a person's run-in with the law. The paper never hesitates to give full names, addresses, etc. when reporting that a local has been incriminated or arrested for any given crime. I think that's a little mean. Maybe because I've been hit personally in the past. I have never been arrested OR listed in the crime section of the paper - but my father was in late 1980's. He was charged with a white-collar crime of taking money from the bank where he worked. It is what it is - definitely not legal and definitely not right, but did it need to be publicized to our neighbors?

I can understand warning the public about a person who has been continually busted for DUI's or for any sexual assault. But, honestly, do we need to know when someone hasn't paid their property taxes? If it's not a danger to me or my family, I don't need to know the details. Nine times out of ten, the section is just humorous - a bona fide waste of ink and paper.

- "On Sept. 10th police were dispatched to Davis Lane for a report of a man yelling into the woods. Police arrived but found no one."

Riveting, right? Almost every entry ends with "police found nothing" or "area was abandoned". The paper is almost teaching us how to play pranks on the police (not that I would ever do that and risk getting MY name put in the crime section!) They never find anything on these dispatches!

-"On Sept. 11th around 6:20 pm, police were dispatched to the 400 block of Walnut Street for a group of juveniles skateboarding in the street. Police told the kids to move along."

WOW. Really? Who the eff cares? I want to read that the police scolded the tattle-tale who called them in the first place for (1) being lame and (2) wasting everyone's time. It's just so stereotypically Sewickley. Not that I mind the low crime rates and minor issues of random strangers yelling into the woods (maybe he was just angry at a squirrel?). But what makes it Sewickley is that this news is printed on the 2nd page and read by all. And then we blog about it. :)

1 comment:

  1. I totally hear you about the Sewickley crime scene. Matt is a cop down here and I have to say that our local newspaper is about the same. However, they won't put names in the paper, which I think is nice. Unless someone is officially convicted of the crime, it's no one's business. Jono is joining the Edgeworth police beat...so watch out!