Middle age is an interesting time to learn and unlearn things. Simple things like how much effort it takes to learn how to use a new phone, or in my case, a new Kindle (first day I could NOT figure out how to get out of my book and back to the home screen). Or when the supermarket gets updated and you don't know where tomato paste is!
It's a time to Embrace nerdiness or character traits that still aren't particularly useful. I'm fully invested in building miniatures - when that's the last thing I "have time" for. And I find that I use my dictionary more than ever. Does anyone else just pass over words they don't understand or you've read/seen it a million times without bothering to know what it means? I used to do that all of the time. When I finally, lazily, press the word to open the dictionary - it is worth it! I had probably read the word 'nadir' twenty times before I took the effort to learn its definition - and know I see the word everywhere.
Idioms too. If you have to Google it .. I'll wait! Because I just had to in order to include it in my writing. I was getting it confused with colloquialisms. (I'll still be here after you Google that one too!)
Bite the bullet. Costs an arm and a leg. The last straw. Under the weather.
We've heard and said these things so often that we don't think or really hear what we're saying. And once you really *hear* it, you can't unhear the meaning.
I've written in the past about some really unhelpful idioms that cancer patients hear a lot. I've had my issues with people that say "getting old is a bitch". We just regurgitate sayings without thinking of the audience or how negative or dismissive they might be.
But over the last couple of weeks, the term "carrying water" has been a recurring theme. What does that mean exactly? Can you envision for yourself the water you are carrying for other people? For our culture? For things to stay the same and to keep us busy serving something other than ourselves? I carry a lot of water for people and ideas. I also carry a purse with snacks, gum, water and activities because I'm a mother. But the entire cultural norm of carrying a purse (AND the car keys) as a woman is carrying water! Why didn't anyone else bring a bag???
Carrying water is the unappreciated mental task of keeping track of groceries, schedules and what time dance class starts. Carrying water is remembering birthdays. Carrying water is knowing the truth and watching everyone else pretend. Carrying water is staying small or keeping your opinion to yourself to let an insecure man feel good about himself. Carrying water serves the patriarchy.. Carrying water serves the status quo.
And now I can't seem to look at the words carrying water. 🫠🫠🫠
My point is that we carry so much in order to keep things going, whether anyone notices or not. Because it's "easier" to stay quiet until it isn't. I'd like to put the water down; I wish I could stop caring about what is ethical or right for one minute and just be as selfish as many people are!
I encourage you to look around and see what you're carrying for others. Be it the weight of responsibility to maintain a relationship, be it the snack schedule, be it the cleaning. It's ok to carry what you want, of course, because there is beauty in being a responsible, functional adult. But it's all about actually choosing what you carry.
